


i'm a fire and i'll keep your brittle heart warm

by jennycaakes



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Hooking up, M/M, Miscommunication, Secret Relationship, Senior year, Sharing a Bed, Shower Sex, Vacation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:34:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25721416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jennycaakes/pseuds/jennycaakes
Summary: It's senior year and No, Dex is Not attracted to Nursey and No, he is Not going to do anything about it.
Relationships: Derek "Nursey" Nurse/William "Dex" Poindexter
Comments: 63
Kudos: 374





	i'm a fire and i'll keep your brittle heart warm

**Author's Note:**

> hello everyone! anyone else just fucking insane about nursey and dex senior year dynamics??? i could write a million versions (and have! and will!), here's one of them. mostly just lots of hooking up because i'm trying to cope with no one holding my hand. this fic is just horny. SORRY not sorry!!!!
> 
> hope you like it! stay safe out there folks. remember when we could be in places with people??? doing things???? dreamy
> 
> YES the title is from taylor swift's "peace" if i listen to that song thinking about nurseydex i will scream

Look, it’s not that Dex made it a habit to jerk off in the showers at Faber. He very decidedly did not. But it had been a long fucking morning, and he’d been talking to the coaches for _so_ much longer than usual, and the locker room was empty. He’d be quick. Wouldn’t take long. 

It was just—his dream the night before had been a little hornier for Nursey than usual and he didn’t have enough time to deal with it that morning and then on the ice their passes were super connecting and something about that always made Dex feel a little more flustered than usual and—seriously, he could be quick. 

He could keep his thoughts vague. Just vague hot thoughts. Getting off thoughts. He didn’t need to think of Nursey.

It was just easier to think of Nursey because Nursey smiling could cut straight to Dex’s core and Nursey’s hand on Dex’s shoulder could draw his entire attention and Nursey’s laughter made Dex feel warm in a dozen different ways and—

Dex came quickly, stifling his groan. 

He was so fucked, but whatever. He didn’t know when his subconscious had betrayed him and started constantly reminding Dex how attracted to Nursey he really was but he was trying his best to just keep ignoring it. Just had to get through the year. Dex finished showering off and grabbed his towel, drying off before winding it around his waist and wondering out to the locker room. 

“What took you so—”

“Jesus Christ,” Dex jumped, and Nursey grinned. He sat on the edge of the bench, straddling it and resting his hands in the center. “The fuck are you still doing here, Nurse?”

“Aw, we always walk together on Thursdays!”

Thank fuck Dex already got off. “Hall and Murray had a lot to say,” Dex muttered, which was half true. He’d been quiet enough, right? He’d gotten good at that after years of jerking off in silence. Less likely to be detected. “You didn’t have to wait.”

He got dressed quickly, Nursey thankfully not commenting on anything that could be worth commenting on, and the two of them walked out of Faber together. 

* * *

Saturday morning’s practice brought about the same issue, only worse.

Dex woke up horny and frustrated that he wanted to make out with Nursey and then Nursey greeted him in the kitchen still mostly asleep which did _not_ help because Nursey with his sleepy, raspy voice is a Nursey that Dex is very much attracted to and then there was practice with loud laughter from Nursey and excellent passes from Nursey for some great hockey and it was all a bit too much.

He finished his after-practice meeting with Hall and Murray and hurried to the locker room, desperate to find it empty, only to discover that Nursey was waiting for him.

“Hey,” he greeted with a smile.

Fuck’s sake.

“Hey,” Dex responded. He went straight for his locker, hoping he could shoo Nursey out of here without it being too dramatic. “You don’t have to wait for me, Nurse.”

“I know,” Nursey said warmly. “Wanted to see if maybe you wanted to get breakfast.”

“No.”

Nursey scoffed but was still smiling. Even though he dreaded waking up early for them, Dex knew Saturday morning practices were some of Nursey’s favorites. He liked the laziness of the morning once the practice was over—and if Nursey didn’t value sleep so much Dex was convinced he’d be a morning person anyway. 

“And why not?”

“I need to shower.”

“So after.”

“No,” Dex said again, a little too sharp. 

Silence followed. He opened his locker slowly and started putting away his things while Nursey remained where he was on the end of the bench, straddling it. Dex was acutely aware of his presence but refused to look at him, worried his face would give too much away. 

“What’s been with you lately?” Nursey asked, pushing himself to stand. His voice was light but his eyebrows were furrowed together in concern. “I feel like you haven’t looked me in the eyes in days, dude.” Dex shut his locker and turned toward Nursey with a sigh, not sure what to say to him when the truth was so mortifying. “You can’t even do it now,” Nursey said with disbelief. 

Dex forced his eyes up to Nursey’s as Nursey stopped in front of him, waiting for an explanation that Dex wasn’t sure he could give. 

“I’m just tired,” Dex lied. 

Nursey rolled his eyes and leaned back against the nearby lockers. “Don’t lie to me, Dex. Can you just tell me if I did something to piss you off so I can apologize and we can move on?”

Dex’s chest constricted. He couldn’t help but think of all the times in the past that they fought and let it drag out for weeks at a time because they were both too stubborn to apologize. Dex wasn’t even pissed this time—it was much more complicated than that. Still Nursey was being communicative right away, not wanting to waste any time being distant if they didn’t have to be, and just like—fuck, okay? 

“It’s nothing,” Dex insisted. He was allowed to be physically attracted to Nursey but that was where he drew the line. He didn’t need Nursey getting extra emotionally vulnerable with him and talking about feelings and pushing Dex deeper into a pit he didn’t even mean to fall in. It was Senior year. He just needed to make it to graduation without ruining their friendship because he’d actually _fallen_ for Nursey. Fuck no. “Seriously, Nurse. Sorry I’ve been out of it.” 

“So let’s get breakfast,” Nursey said again. 

Dex looked back to him and wanted to say _no_ another time. But Nursey was closer now, his eyes bright as he looked into Dex’s, and—

Dex kissed him. 

There was no rational thought that led to this decision. He was just looking at Nursey who was looking at him and he figured he should at least try to get these feelings out of his system. All it took was one step, a slight lean, an easy angle, and he could be quick.

“No,” Nursey gasped as Dex pulled back. He reached up before Dex could step away and grabbed his waist with one hand, cupping Dex's cheek with the other, closing those few final steps between to deepen the kiss. 

A calmness settled over Dex as he wound his hands around Nursey’s waist to tug him closer and the responding smile on Nursey’s lips made Dex’s chest do funny things. He knew that they were alone. He knew that Nursey was kissing him back. He was still struggling to latch onto any sensible thought seeing as his stream of consciousness right now was just _oh my God what the fuck am I doing_ but he could deal with that later. 

“You could’ve just said so,” Nursey murmured against his mouth.

Dex pulled back enough to glare but Nursey laughed, refusing to let him get too far before drawing him in again. Dex’s thoughts were still in a loop of _what the fuck_ but as Nursey’s tongue slid into his mouth he couldn’t care and wouldn’t be bothered to stop. 

Dex hooked his hand on Nursey’s shirt and tugged him backwards, toward the showers, and the muffled sound of approval that it drew from Nursey’s mouth made Dex ache. As they pulled back to strip off their clothes Dex caught a glimpse of Nursey’s eyes, blown wide and dark.

The hardest thing to get off was their shoes and Nursey of course stumbled; Dex shot out his hand to catch him before he could land on the floor. Nursey didn’t hesitate to get his boxers off and that dissolved all of Dex’s hesitation too. They slowly made their way to the shower, Dex walking backwards, guiding Nursey, while Nursey refused to let Dex get too far away that he couldn’t kiss him. They fumbled for the water and soon the showers hissed to life, hot water spraying them from all angles as Nursey pressed Dex back against the wall. 

_Maybe I’m dreaming_ , Dex thought idly, but as Nursey veered off to suck on his neck Dex knew that he was very awake. 

“Fuck,” he exhaled. Nursey wrapped his hand around Dex and tugged. “Nurse.” 

“Dex.” Dex slid his hands up Nursey’s sides and reached forward, grabbing Nursey’s cock. Nursey rolled his hips forward into Dex’s touch and moaned, less caring about quiet than Dex. “Fucking love your hands,” Nursey babbled, the words etched into Dex’s skin. 

“Shut it,” Dex grumbled. The feeling of Nursey’s scruff against Dex’s skin was dizzying. “Can we—” he shifted, grabbing both of them in his hands, and Nursey moaned another time as Dex pulled them off together. 

Nursey came first and Dex didn’t mind, the showers easily washing the mess down the drain. He had no idea how he’d lasted longer and literally didn’t care. The moment he’d composed himself Nursey dropped to his knees to take care of it, mouthing across the head of Dex’s dick before taking him down his throat. Dex definitely didn’t last long then, groaning Nursey’s name as he came. 

He swallowed most of it but Nursey let a bit get on his face, the stream pelting it away, Dex weak in the knees at the sight of it. Nursey stood and held Dex’s side firmly, keeping him grounded as he drew him in for a kiss. 

“This isn’t gonna be a thing,” Dex told him between more open-mouthed kisses.

Nursey’s breathless response made Dex’s chest expand two sizes. “If you say so.” He kissed Dex under the water another time, hands settling on his hips before finally pulling back. “I’ll let you finish up,” Nursey said softly. “Then we’ll go get breakfast.”

Dex scoffed but Nursey smiled, stealing another kiss before slipping out of the showers without another word.

* * *

It became a thing.

Kissing, anyway. Not Dex dragging Nursey to the Faber showers so they could get off together. But the kissing certainly made Dex _want_ to drag Nursey to the showers more often, if he could. 

It would happen like this: 

Dex would notice the coffee pot was nearly empty and would save a mug for Nursey before it ran out. Dex would join Nursey in his bedroom for late-night paper writing sessions because he knew Nursey focused better with someone else around. Dex would pick-up one of Nursey’s favorite iced drinks from Jerry’s after he had class in that area and bring it to him. 

And Nursey would kiss him. Always. Soft, quick. Glancing over both of their shoulders before leaning in, constantly making sure they were alone before doing so, and Dex would kiss him back. 

But they didn’t actually talk about it; not even at breakfast the morning after their shower hook-up. Dex didn’t know how to broach the subject and Nursey apparently seemed really content to just sneak kisses every once in a while so Dex wasn’t complaining. 

Besides, what would a conversation about this look like? Dex didn’t know if he was ready for it or if he even actually wanted to have it. He still wasn’t out to his parents and between senior year and being captain Dex really didn’t have a lot of free time. Certainly not enough time to devote to someone in a real relationship. Certainly not enough for Nursey.

Whatever they had now was fine. It felt good. It was low pressure. No reason to push it. It wasn’t like Dex actually wanted to _be with_ Nursey. Right? That wasn’t... allowed.

A few weeks passed before it happened again. 

He’d only just approached the washing machine when the door to the basement opened and someone started down the steps. Dex glanced over his shoulder to offer an apology seeing as there’s _no way_ he’d be giving up the washer when he spotted Nursey, free of any laundry in his hands, slowing down as he spotted Dex. 

Dex returned to the machine, lifting the lid so he could start dumping in his dirty clothes. “Taken,” he murmured halfheartedly.

Nursey finished his trek down the stairs and crossed to hop up and sit on the dryer. “Tragic,” Nursey said dramatically. “How else am I supposed to do all of the baskets of laundry that I brought down here with me?” 

Dex rolled his eyes but couldn’t stop his smile. Nursey was so annoying and Dex enjoyed it more than he ever thought possible.

“When’s the last time you actually did your laundry?” Dex wondered. “Because I’m pretty sure that’s a need of yours.” 

“Didn’t you know? I just ship my dirty laundry to the cleaners so I don’t have to worry about it.” Dex pulled out a shirt from his basket and balled it up, tossing it at Nursey’s head. He tried dodging it with a laugh but was too slow and ended up with a face full of t-shirt. “Fuck you!” Nursey laughed, tossing it back. Dex deflected it easily, sending the shirt into the washer that he was loading. “I did my laundry a couple of nights ago. Chill.” 

Dex thought for a moment and remembered waking up to someone puttering around the laundry the other night. It happened every now and again that the team did laundry late but it was _super_ late, if Dex was thinking of the right night.

“You having trouble sleeping again?” he wondered. Nursey’s easy smile faded for a moment as he shrugged. Not really an answer. Dex continued loading the washer and asked, “What do you want, Nurse?” 

Nursey hummed, leaning back on his hands on the dryer as he watched Dex continue to empty his basket. 

“I can’t stop thinking about you,” Nursey murmured. 

Dex felt his chest constrict immediately. 

This was it. He had to tell Nursey that what happened at Faber had been a mistake and all the kissing in between too. Neither of them had time for this and Dex certainly didn’t know how to maneuver it in the slightest. On top of that, he genuinely didn’t want to fuck up the friendship that they’d built because they were finally, _finally_ on the path to something good. On the ice they were unstoppable and off the ice Dex finally knew what it meant—what it _felt_ like—to trust Nursey so completely. He couldn’t lose that. 

Nothing good could last. They shouldn’t even tempt it.

Still he couldn’t ignore the chill that shot up his spine at Nursey’s words. Dex’s skin had broken out in goosebumps. He took a deep breath, preparing to let Nursey down, when the words that came out of his mouth were, “Me neither.” 

Like. Fuck.

Nursey’s responding smile left Dex breathless. He reached down to his laundry basket to grab another item out of it while trying to ignore the feeling inside of him, something sticky and fearful but so hot it simply couldn’t be squashed. As much as the logical voice in Dex’s head was telling him it wasn’t a good idea, he couldn’t deny that he still wanted it. 

“It was hard enough before,” Nursey said slowly, like he’d been mulling it over, “but now it’s practically impossible and there’s honestly no one to blame but you.” Dex scoffed, grabbing another shirt out of his hamper. “Ever since you cornered me in the locker room—“

“That is not what happened.”

“Poindexter,” Nursey said, amused. “That is _exactly_ what happened.” 

“Well you keep kissing me,” Dex muttered. 

“You seemed into it,” Nursey said carefully, arching an eyebrow. “Is that not—”

“No.”

“No you’re not into it?” Nursey asked with a smile, clearly enjoying the way that Dex was turning red. He leveled Nursey with something that might pass as a glare before rolling his eyes and shaking his head. “Use your words, Dexy.”

“Don’t call me Dexy.”

“I can stop,” Nursey said, more sure. The lack of teasing in his voice brought Dex more comfort than he realized he needed. When he looked up and found that Nursey was being serious, his smile tucked away for another time. “I’ll stop,” Nursey decided with a nod.

Dex should’ve nodded too. Instead he said, “You shouldn't.” 

They held one another’s gaze for a moment before Nursey’s smile returned, pleased, and Dex looked away to grab the last of his things from his basket. 

“C’mere.” Dex shot him a look and Nursey’s smile only grew. “Come here,” he said again. Dex felt ridiculous. He closed the washing machine and switched it on before turning to Nursey, slowly walking in his direction. Nursey spread his legs and Dex fit between them, loving the height of the dryer as their hips aligned perfectly. “So then kiss me,” Nursey said lowly. 

Dex didn’t break his gaze. “You just want to say I started it.”

“You did start it.” Dex scoffed. “Kiss me,” Nursey said again, more of a whisper than before, more of a plea. Nursey reached out for him, hands settling on Dex's waist to drag him closer before Dex finally leaned in to kiss him. 

Nursey’s enthusiastic response made Dex groan. Even though they’d hooked up in the showers, all kisses since then had been muted. Quick. Nothing to really be savored. He couldn’t believe he got to kiss Nursey like this, with no rhyme or reason or need; it was overwhelming. 

Dex shifted again and Nursey inched forward, grinding his hips against Dex’s while lifting his legs to wind them around Dex's body. They were being stupid but he seriously couldn’t help himself. Nursey slid his hands beneath the hem of Dex’s shirt and started tugging on the fabric, bringing up and over his head, and Dex let him because of how badly he wanted to feel Nursey’s hands against him.

“Might as well throw this in too,” Nursey said with a grin as they parted, struggling to get the t-shirt over Dex’s head. “Unless we have to cut it off because your ears are _so big_ —” Dex elbowed him and Nursey’s laugh was so brilliant and finally the collar came loose. 

“Fuck you,” Dex muttered as Nursey leaned over, lifting the top of the washer so they could toss the shirt in. 

He leaned back in and burned a kiss to Dex’s bare skin. “Okay,” Nursey murmured, sending Dex’s blush crawling down his chest. 

Even with their hips aligned the height of the dryer made it so Dex was slightly taller and Nursey wasted no time in pulling away so he could veer off and press kisses to Dex’s throat. With the way he was starting to suck on Dex’s neck and how Nursey’s hands were quickly slipping past the elastic of Dex’s sweats, he knew where this was headed. 

Dex pulled back with a _tch_ sound. “You have class this afternoon,” he reprimanded.

“It’s cancelled,” Nursey hurried, pulling Dex back in. Dex arched an eyebrow but Nursey insisted, eyes wide. “I promise! I’ll show you the email—baby, just…” he trailed off, maybe realizing what he’d said, but Dex didn’t wait to see the reaction. He leaned in and reached behind, grabbing the hem of Nursey’s shirt and easily pulling it up and over his head. 

Fuck, Nursey was hot. Strong arms and warm body and all of it inviting Dex in. He couldn't think about the endearment, it was too much. 

“Why’s it cancelled?” Dex asked.

Nursey pulled back with a surprised noise, mixed with a laugh. “My class?” he clarified. “My professor’s wife went into labor,” Nursey told him slowly, his mouth pulled up in the most beautiful puckered smile Dex had ever seen. He looked incredulous and Dex wanted to drink it in—he _did_. “I can show you the email if you—“

Dex kissed him again, reveling in the feeling of Nursey’s smile against his mouth. He hadn’t been expecting this and didn’t know what to do next now that he had it but Dex was sure he didn’t want to let it go. Not just afternoon sex with Nursey—which was clearly where this seemed to be heading—but something like this with Nursey at all. 

Nursey reached forward and grabbed Dex through his sweats making him groan, rocking his hips forward to try and find more pressure. “So you don’t need to see the email?” he panted.

Dex snorted with laughter, which only made Nursey laugh too. “Shut up.” Nursey kissed him again. “Come on,” Dex murmured. 

As he stepped away from the dryer Nursey didn’t hesitate to slide off, following Dex back into the bungalow without any hesitation. Dex set a timer for his laundry and set his phone aside before starting for Nursey, who’d already sprawled out and was claiming Dex’s bed like it was his own. 

“Just take them off,” Dex muttered, meaning Nursey’s sweats, and Nursey’s laughter filled the room. Dex tugged his own down while Nursey wiggled out of his, tossing his sweats to the ground before beckoning Dex to join him in bed. “You are such an asshole,” Dex exhaled, crawling across the mattress. 

“Mm-hm.” Nursey’s smile warmed every inch of Dex’s skin. “You like it.” 

Dex kissed him so he wouldn’t have to listen to Nursey say anything else. He didn’t think he’d ever get used to feeling Nursey’s hands on him like this—wandering, unrestrained and uncaring. Down the planes of his back, along his spine. Dex was starting to think he might get off with his boxers still on. 

When Nursey’s hands slid beneath the elastic to cup Dex’s ass he rocked forward, moaning into Nursey’s mouth. Things grew foggy; all he knew was Nursey’s touch. 

It wasn’t much later that they both came, the friction too hot and heavy for either of them to last too long. Dex cleaned up the mess between them with Nursey’s sweats because his were relatively clean and he was already doing laundry—which only made Nursey shake with laughter after Dex explained. 

“I don’t even care,” Nursey exhaled as Dex settled back down beside him. “I’m just stealing some of yours.”

“Whatever.” Dex slipped beneath the sheets and dropped his head onto the pillows. He could probably fall asleep.

Nursey gently carded his fingers through Dex’s hair and it made it easier to drift away. “What are you thinking?” he asked.

Dex closed his eyes to admit the truth. “That this is going to end poorly.” 

“What?” Nursey pulled away a touch and Dex opened his eyes in response. Nursey looked worried, upset. “Why do you think that?” he wondered, shaking his head.

“Feels inevitable with us.” 

Nursey shook his head a little firmer. “Nah, that energy’s gotta go. That’s some negative self-fulfilling prophecy bullshit and I’m not about it.”

Dex frowned. “What?”

“Like—if you go into something thinking it’s gonna be bad, it’s gonna be bad. Self-fulfilling prophecy.” 

Dex tipped his head to the side a little, fighting off the smile that wanted to find his face. “And what if you go into something thinking it’s gonna be really good?”

Nursey clearly didn’t have the same reservations that Dex did. His smile was immediate, stretching to take up his entire face. “Then it’s more likely to be really good,” he answered. “So you see where I’m going with this.”

Dex closed his eyes again, simply enjoying sharing space with him. “What are you thinking?” Dex asked. It was only fair seeing that Nursey asked him. 

“That your freckles have multiplied in the past few weeks.” Dex opened one eye, peeking at Nursey with a frown, not surprised to find him smiling. That seemed to be his default face these days: just absolutely cheesing. “I’m serious. Since the sun’s been out more often you’ve got dozens of ‘em.” 

He snapped his eye shut again and shook his head. “Stop that.”

Nursey poked Dex’s cheek lightly. “I like your freckles,” he said. 

_I like you_ , Dex thought. 

“Well they’re not going anywhere.” He swat Nursey’s hand away and rolled onto his side so he was facing him. Dex curled up, tucking his arm under his head. “Let me see the email,” he said.

Nursey’s laugh made Dex’s chest expand in size. “No! You’ve lost your right. You said you didn’t need to.” 

Dex shook his head a little, a small smile finally growing on his face as well. “I knew your class wasn’t cancelled.”

“Fuck you!” Nursey laughed. “You have no faith in me.” 

“How convenient your professor’s wife went into labor right before your least favorite afternoon class when the Haus is the emptiest,” Dex carried on, mostly monotonous. 

“Yes, extremely convenient,” Nursey agreed. He leaned in slowly before pressing a soft kiss to Dex’s nose. “Will…” he exhaled. Dex slid his hand over Nursey’s hip before shifting up his back. Instead of saying anything else Nursey leaned in for a real kiss that Dex easily obliged. 

* * *

So, fine. Maybe Dex did want this. 

* * *

Dex was sure they were being more obvious than they let on, but Chowder didn’t say anything for a few weeks—not until Dex fell asleep on Nursey’s shoulder on the ride home from one of their away games. The whole thing had been a shit show and Dex was exhausted, unable to get the team to really come together in the end, and the loss had drained him. 

“It’s not your fault,” Nursey had told him, again and again, but as Captain it always felt like Dex’s fault. “They saw that we were struggling and hit our weak points.” 

He and Nursey on the ice had been incredible, like always, but it hadn’t been enough to turn the tide of the game. Once they boarded the bus Dex felt sad, and Nursey had offered his shoulder and hand in silent support. He’d woken him up once they were close to home so Dex could start gathering his things and even before his eyes had really focused Dex had seen Chowder watching them from across the bus. 

That night Chowder came down to Dex’s bungalow when he was alone. He brought a joint and they laid side by side in Dex’s bed, passing it back and forth without saying much. 

“Seems like it’s going… alright,” Chowder eventually commented. “With you and Nursey.” 

“Whatever it is,” Dex agreed half-heartedly. 

Chowder turned to look at him, an eyebrow arched. “What do you want it to be?” he asked. “Cause I bet you can have it.” 

Dex sighed deeply; it was more complicated than what he wanted. He knew he already had a job lined up in New York City once he graduated, and that Nursey would be moving back home, so they would both be in the city. And he knew that being with Nursey was like remembering how to inhale—the first new breath of something wonderful, every time.

But was he ready for it?

He and Chowder talked about the Frogs and how important their friendship was to all three of them, something no one wanted to risk, but Chowder insisted he wasn’t worried. 

“How’d it start?” Chowder asked eventually. His mischievous smile made Dex groan. “Tell me!”

“Apparently I lack restraint,” Dex admitted. 

“Oh my God,” Chowder laughed. “It was you? I would’ve put money on Derek making the first move.”

Dex groaned again while Chowder’s laughter continued. “I blame him,” Dex said. 

Chowder’s laughter grew louder. “Of course you do.”

* * *

A few nights later Dex found himself in the kitchen after midnight in need of a snack. He had a stash of Reese’s in the freezer that he liked to grab a few from every now and then. The Haus had been quiet as he made his way up but when he got to the kitchen he found the light above the stove on and Nursey standing beside it, readying the kettle. 

His eyes blew wide when he spotted Dex. “Hi,” he greeted softly. 

“Can’t sleep?” Dex asked. He headed for the freezer, grabbed a few Reese’s as Nursey shrugged. “What’re you making?” he wondered, shutting the door.

“Tea.” Dex rolled his eyes. “Have to look in the drawer at what we have,” Nursey admitted with a small smile. “I think there should still be some of my favorite in there.” Dex unwrapped his chocolate and popped one into his mouth. “You?” Nursey asked.

“Needed a snack.”

“Mm… so stay with me tonight,” Nursey said, slowly striding toward him. “Since I’m a snack.” 

Dex felt ten degrees too warm. He swallowed. “You’re so annoying,” he countered.

Nursey’s smile didn’t fade. “Say it,” he ribbed. 

“Definitely not.” 

Before Nursey could actually close the distance between them he veered off, heading for the tea drawer to rifle around. Dex popped another Reese’s into his mouth. He crossed the kitchen to the mug cabinet and pulled down one of Nursey’s favorites—something Lardo had made and left behind—to set on the counter beside the kettle. Once Nursey had picked out his packet he joined Dex's side and readied the teabag. 

They stood side by side in silence, Dex finishing his chocolate while Nursey waited for the kettle to hiss. Once it did he poured his drink slowly, letting the mug rest for a few moments after setting the kettle back down. 

“But really,” Nursey murmured after Dex threw away his trash. “Stay with me tonight.” It sounded like more of a plea than anything, shining in his eyes and bone-tired in his words. “It’ll help me sleep.” 

“That bad?” Dex whispered. 

Nursey looked away and took a soft breath, loosening his hold. “I mean it’s fine, it’s just—”

“No, I’ll stay,” Dex stopped him. He reached over, grabbing the mug of tea that Nursey had prepared for himself so they could start for the stairs. “I got this, come on.” 

Nursey’s eyes softened and he smiled gratefully, shutting off the light above the stove before leading the way up the steps back to his bedroom. Dex followed quietly behind him but the rest of the Haus was silent, so he wasn’t worried about being caught. They slipped inside and Dex shut the door behind them while Nursey settled down on the edge of his bed. Dex passed over the mug and Nursey blew on it before taking a small sip.

“Chamomile?” Dex asked, and Nursey nodded. “Do you think it actually helps?”

“Yeah. Even if it’s all in my head.” He took another small sip before blowing on it again. “Wanna sip?” 

Dex settled down beside him, shaking his head. “Nah.” He dropped backwards so he could look up at the ceiling while Nursey drank his tea in silence.

It was still weird for Dex to be in this room sometimes. He loved his bungalow in the basement and it was most certainly a necessity but in another life they should’ve shared this room. With the way things had changed between them recently Dex couldn’t help but feel a little ridiculous about how dramatic him leaving the room had been. 

“Do you like having your own room?” Dex asked. 

Nursey hummed as he thought. “It’s okay. Quiet at night.” Dex knew that was code for _not really_. He turned a little so he could look at Nursey, finding the other man had shifted too so he could better see Dex from where he sat. “I know you do,” Nursey said.

That was true. Dex really did enjoy having his own space. He and his brother had shared their bedroom his entire childhood and as a genuinely introverted soul, Dex needed a door that he could close so he could recharge. 

“I just like having space when I need it,” he explained. 

“I didn’t mean it as a bad thing.”

“No, I know.” He wondered if Nursey was still holding onto any feelings about Dex leaving the room and crafting his bungalow. “If I’d never left,” Dex told him slowly, “I don’t think we’d ever…” he trailed off, not actually saying it. 

If he hadn’t left—what? They would never have hooked up? Maybe never become closer friends that allowed the hooking up to happen in the first place? 

“It’s chill, Dex,” Nursey said with a smile. “I wasn’t a great roommate to you—I don’t know what I expected.” He shrugged a little after another sip. “Besides, the bungalow is kickass. I love it down there.” 

“Hm.” Dex turned his head again, looking back up toward the ceiling. 

“Why’d you do it?” Nursey asked. 

Dex’s eyes darted toward him but he didn’t actually move. “What, move out?”

“No. Kiss me.” Dex still didn’t move. “That first time, I mean,” Nursey added after a moment. 

“Why did you kiss me back?” Dex asked instead of answering.

Nursey laughed a little, muted. “Because I like you, Poindexter. Don’t be obtuse on purpose.”

“I’m not being _obtuse_.” 

Nursey chuckled, drinking some more of his tea. “Okay.” More silence followed as Dex struggled to find the words with which to respond. He liked Nursey, too. Why couldn’t he just say it? “We don’t have to talk about it,” Nursey told him after a long pause. When Dex looked back at him expecting to find Nursey upset, he wasn’t. “Sleep now?”

“You’re the one who needs it,” Dex murmured.

Nursey set aside his half-empty mug of tea and Dex scooted up on the bed, shifting himself so he could stretch out by Nursey’s side. After flipping off the light on his bedside table Nursey settled down too. 

Dex felt like an asshole. Clearly Nursey wanted to talk about whatever this was but Dex had never been very good with words. 

“You didn’t even finish your tea,” Dex pointed out.

“S’okay. Already feeling sleepier.” Dex drew him closer and Nursey murmured, “Thank you.” He lifted his hand, brushing his fingers through Dex’s hair. “I don’t know why some nights are worse than others,” he admitted quietly. 

“You don’t need an excuse to want me with you.” 

Nursey chuckled gently, nodding. “Mmm.” He pressed a kiss to Dex’s chin. Then another, to his jaw. “I always want you with me,” he whispered. 

Dex turned his head toward Nursey and opened his eyes, knowing even before looking that a kiss would be waiting for him. He met Nursey halfway for it, both of them quickly pulling one another close. Nursey’s hands wouldn’t settle—down Dex’s shoulders, across his back, over his hips. Dex slid his leg between Nursey’s until their ankles were tangled together.

Something about being with Nursey with a bed was just all consuming. There was so much space and yet all Dex wanted to do was be closer to the other man, to mouth his was along Nursey’s throat and suck until he left a mark. 

Dex wanted to be better at this.

Not the kissing—they were pretty good at all of that—but talking about it. The feelings part. 

As he and Nursey lost themselves in one another, Dex promised himself he’d try harder in the morning. 

* * *

Okay, so. 

Sleeping with Nursey last night wasn’t a dream. Not that Dex really thought it was, but he’d never… stayed the night before. Neither had Nursey. He’d kind of anticipated waking up alone in his room again, not wound beside his d-man like this. 

_“Will_ ,” Nursey said suddenly, voice thick with sleep. “You seriously need to chill, dude. I can feel you getting tense already.” 

Dex let out a short exhale and Nursey turned, sliding their already twisted together ankles so they were even more wrapped around one another beneath the sheets. 

“Stay,” Nursey soothed. “Relax.”

His voice, gentle against Dex’s neck, was enough to fight the early morning anxiety. Nursey hummed contentedly and Dex let his eyes drift shut, trying to remember how to breathe without thinking about it while Nursey slid closer. He slipped his arm around Dex’s waist and tugged until their hips were practically pressed together.

“Talk to me?” Nursey wondered. Dex forced his eyes open again and found Nursey looking at him, worried but fond, patient and warm, and Dex sighed as he closed his eyes again.

He didn’t know how to do this. He didn’t know where to start.

“When I’m with you everything makes sense,” Dex murmured. His voice sounded small and he felt even smaller. “And it feels good. It feels— _right._ But then the second I’m away from you I think of every single reason why this is a bad idea.”

Nursey shook his head at that. “Like what?” he whispered. 

“Like Hall and Murray having thoughts about it. Or myparents.” Nursey laughed a little then and pressed forward, snatching a soft kiss from Dex before he could object. “I’m serious,” Dex muttered.

“I know I know, but you just put Hall and Murray before your parents, dude?” Dex sighed and turned away but Nursey leaned in with more kisses, this time to Dex’s neck. “Hall and Murray aren’t going to care,” he whispered. “Nobody is—or if they do it’ll be the good kind of care, you know?” Dex’s eyes stayed shut. “This,” Nursey said slowly, “is really, really, really _really good_.” 

Dex took a deep breath and whispered his truth, “I know.” 

Being with Nursey felt so fucking easy. It felt ridiculous to say he’d never felt like this before—but it was true. Every emotion felt larger, brighter. Stepping into whatever this was with Nursey had taken no time at all, hardly any adjustment. The moments they were apart Dex would worry incessantly that something would go wrong but even just one glimpse in Nursey’s direction would steady his racing heart.

“Just stop being away from me then,” Nursey said sleepily, clearly struggling to stay awake. “We’ll just always be together and then you don’t have to think about reasons it could be bad because they’re wrong anyway.” When Dex opened his eyes again he wasn’t surprised to find that Nursey’s were shut. 

Dex wanted this, it just felt _big_. This was Nursey! 

“I’ll need an adjustment period,” Dex whispered.

Nursey’s eyes flew open again. “What do you mean?” 

“I mean you’re—a lot Derek, with the touching and—“ Nursey laughed, gathering Dex closer for another kiss. “I just need an adjustment period.” 

“Now?” Nursey asked slowly, but Dex kissed him again in the quiet of his bedroom.

“No. I mean…” he sighed, closing his eyes and pressing his forehead to Nursey’s. “I don’t know.” He had to say it. “I’ve never felt like this.”

Nursey’s voice was warm as he asked, “When you say felt like this...?”

“Like I don’t have to think about it and then I realize I’m not thinking about it and I’m like oh my _God—“_ Nursey laughed, but Dex was serious. “It’s so good,” he murmured, repeating Nursey’s words from earlier. Nursey’s laugher faded quick, his face growing soft. 

“Is that okay?” Nursey whispered back. 

Dex honestly wasn’t sure. “I think so.”

“I think so,” Nursey echoed, sliding his hand up Dex’s side. “Does it surprise you?” 

“Doesn’t it surprise you?”

Nursey shook his head. “No.”

“Not even a little bit?”

“Like… maybe a little,” Nursey conceded. “Freshman year Derek is very surprised.” Dex exhaled, leaning in to hide his face near Nursey’s neck. “But no,” he said again. “I love being with you, Will. Just—fucking around and doing nothing, you’re my favorite person to do nothing with.” 

Dex closed his eyes again—it was too much. “Go back to sleep,” he murmured. 

It startled him when Nursey shifted to kiss him, slow and wet. Nursey was smiling as he pulled away. “Okay,” he whispered. 

Dex kissed him again, just because he could. 

* * *

From then, small things changed. 

Nursey and Dex would still sneak kisses every now and then, sure to only do it when they were positive they were alone. Some nights they would share a bed but mostly they kept to their own rooms. There was a small part of Dex that was terrified of what would happen when the Haus found out that they were together now. 

Then one day, during midterms a couple of weeks later, Nursey said, “We should take a trip.”

Dex was deep into his current coding project when Nursey stated this, sitting across from him at the library late into the night. Chowder had left them a couple of hours ago to study with Farmer at the volleyball house and since then the library had started emptying. 

Dex closed his laptop a little so he could focus on Nursey. His project had been kicking his ass so the thought of taking a trip was instantly appealing. 

When Dex didn’t respond Nursey finally elaborated to say, “One weekend. Just go somewhere.” Which honestly wasn’t much of an elaboration. 

Dex couldn’t remember the last time he just… took a trip.

“And do what?” he asked.

Nursey shrugged. “Go to shops. Take a hike. Be… together.”

Oh, like a Together trip. Like a just them being together sort of trip. A “we are together” trip. 

Dex’s face felt pale. He’d never done anything like that before—taking a trip just to be with someone. To be fair he’d never taken a trip just to take a trip at all other than maybe visiting the old family home on the coast of Maine. Family vacations growing up were few and far between and ever since getting to Samwell the only trips taken were ones necessary for hockey. 

“Yeah,” Dex said once he realized Nursey was waiting for a response from him. “Okay. When?” 

“After midterms,” Nursey told him in a rush. He leaned, cupping his cheek and propping his chin up on his elbow, and smiled. “Just us.” 

Dex tensed a little, knowing his smile looked more like a grimace. 

“Just us?” he echoed, and Nursey nodded to confirm. 

An actual couple trip. Not some sort of group hang where they could sneak off and spend time together just the two of them, but legitimately just a vacation where they were the only two attendees. The thought of it felt absurd, but the soft smile on Nursey’s face encouraged him on. 

“Would you still want to?” Nursey asked. 

“Yeah,” Dex answered quickly. 

“I can plan it,” he carried on, his eyes still warm and dreamy. “Don’t freak out—I’m actually good at planning trips, I swear.” 

Dex rolled his eyes a little and managed an actual smile. “I dunno, Nurse. Your planning skills don’t often impress me.”

"I'm wounded." Nursey’s own smile was overwhelming, but soft. “Trust me?” he asked. 

Dex nodded. “I do,” he told him. Dex looked down at his laptop and then back up and Nursey was still watching him. “Yeah, okay. But seriously—don’t spend too much money.”

Nursey’s smile slipped into something mischievous. “Me? Never.”

“Nurse.”

“Poindexter.”

Dex nudged his laptop open again, returning to work with a small shake of his head. 

After that night, Dex completely forgot about the idea of a trip. If anything it felt like more of a fantasy than an attainable thing they could actually do. Maybe just something in the moment to get Nursey through writing his third annotated bib. Not an actual conceptualized plan.

But a few days later Nursey asked him how he felt about Provincetown, and before Dex knew it they had a place booked and a loose schedule to follow. 

He chose an upcoming 3-day weekend because they didn’t have any games and, “Honestly, we deserve it,” Nursey had said when explaining. They had to rent a car because neither of them had one on campus—Nursey didn’t even have his license, just his permit—but Dex didn’t mind driving. 

When the weekend finally approached for their trip, Dex overheard Nursey in the kitchen talking to some of the team. “Legit though, don’t even text. It’s Dex’s weekend off.” 

Captaincy had been starting to wear on him in subtle ways—that Nursey had noticed and was asking the team to give him a little bit of space for their weekend did ridiculous things to Dex’s stomach. Small inner-team spats had taken away from some really rewarding practices, and the incoming freshman had improved greatly but still struggled to function as a team in so many ways. Nursey asking the team to not involve Dex in things for the weekend brought about a great relief he hadn’t even realized he needed. 

He poked his head inside the kitchen to find Ford and Tango at the table. “You can text,” Dex said, looking at Ford. “Only you.”

She nodded. “Aye aye, Captain.”

To Tango he said, “Don’t even think about it.” Tango gasped, affronted, but Dex shook his head. 

“No!” Nursey interrupted, looking to Ford. “Not even you!” 

“Derek,” Dex murmured. “It’s fine.”

“It’s vacation,” Nursey insisted. “If there are any absolutely dire team emergencies in that someone is bleeding out—you can text _me_. And I will ignore you until we return home Monday night. Okay?”

Ford smiled a little. “Okay, Nursey.” 

“Okay?” Nursey asked Dex.

He felt a little lighter already. “Okay,” Dex agreed.

He could agree to turn off being Captain for a weekend. And fuck it, Nursey was right. Dex needed it. 

They had their things packed Thursday night and after an early practice Friday morning, the two of them climbed into the car they had rented to start off on their trip. Neither had classes to worry about and Nursey wanted to maximize time as best as possible. 

The sun was out by the time they started their drive but traffic was insane and took longer than either of them anticipated—even with the long weekend traffic accounted for. Still, Nursey kept spirits up by changing the music every now and then, and the two of them played a variety of ABC games during the ride. 

Dex’s anxiety started to build from the moment they got in the car, but right as they arrived to the Airbnb that Nursey had rented he really felt like he might be sick. 

What was he doing? He’d grown quiet over the last 45 minute stretch or so but that was because his thoughts were too loud. Did he really think he could live up to Nursery-Approved levels of romance? 

“You okay?” Nursey asked as Dex cut the engine. He looked over at him, finding Nursey with a pinched, nervous smile on his face. “Long drive?” he wondered.

“Oh, yeah,” Dex insisted, ignoring the cage around his heart. “Just the drive.” Nursey nodded a little but still looked hesitant, and Dex leaned halfway across the console to soothe him with a kiss. He could do this. Nursey’s real smile returned then as he met him for it, something quick but warm, and Dex smiled as he pulled away too. “You have a way for us to get in?”

Nursey pressed forward for another quick kiss before digging out his phone, pulling up the confirmation email for the Airbnb. It took him a little longer to actually find the code to put into the lockbox to get the key but soon enough the two of them were making their way into the little coastal home. 

A vacation. 

A vacation with Nursey. 

After admiring the entryway (Nursey _had_ to have spent an absurd amount of money on this place, it was too beautiful) Dex headed for the bedroom, dropping his duffle down on the only bed in the place—the bed that they’d be sharing. Before he could go down another spiral of why this was a bad idea, Nursey reappeared with his own bag.

“I figure maybe we could go grocery shopping?” Nursey offered. “Stay in and cook tonight. Explore some tomorrow.”

“Sure,” Dex agreed.

“Could head out to the beach for the sunset,” Nursey added carefully.

“That sounds nice.”

Nursey smiled. “Okay.” 

They got to work. After dropping off their things they drove into town to find a grocery store, picking up snacks and wine and enough sustenance that they wouldn’t have to go out to eat anytime they were hungry before returning back to their place. 

Not having gone on an actual vacation in his adult life, Dex was surprised at how the flow of time seemed to stop existing in its typical sense. Once they got back from the store Dex realized how hungry he really was and knew Nursey must be in the same boat, so he started on an early dinner right away. They’d stopped for lunch on the drive but it wasn’t as filling as it could’ve been. Nursey poured big glasses of wine for both of them while Dex cooked, pleased at how well stocked the kitchen was with supplies. 

Cooking in a kitchen outside the Haus was surprisingly fun. There was a lot of space to move around and Nursey helped out when he could, even though most of that help was pouring more wine, or settling on the counter and trying to coax Dex to come rest between his legs so Nursey could steal kisses. 

They ate, they walked out and watched the sunset while dipping their toes in the water, they returned home. 

Vacation was weird. No sense of urgency, nothing planned to get done. 

Dex went straight for the kitchen to clean up the mess he’d made while cooking once they got back. He’d just finished tidying up when Nursey reappeared, looking tipsy and happy and warm in ways that radiated _actual_ chill, not the fake kind he always insisted was real. He stepped toward Dex slowly, asking questions without using words, and Dex let himself be pulled in for the quickest of kisses. Nursey moved, sliding his hand around Dex’s waist like he was ready to deepen it, but Dex leaned back before he could. 

When Nursey’s eyes fluttered open again, mostly surprised, Dex said, “Could we just sleep tonight?” Nursey’s eyes widened and he was nodding at once, leaning away to give Dex the space it was clear he needed. “Or—I mean, you could read, if you wanted,” Dex insisted. “I’m just… tired from driving, and…” 

Nursey slid their hands together, drawing Dex close again. “Of course, dude,” he soothed. 

He kissed Dex another time, and knowing it wouldn’t lead anywhere made Dex actually deepen it. Nursey moaned as Dex slipped his tongue into his mouth, quickly untangling their hands so he could reach up and cradle Dex’s face between his hands. 

They made out in the doorway of the kitchen for a little bit before Nursey finally pulled back breathlessly, murmuring something about getting ready for bed. He gave Dex one last kiss before parting, pulling him in toward the bedroom so they could prepare for their night. 

With the lights low and the two of them puttering around quietly, Dex felt a new sense of comfort he’d never experienced before. But with comfort of course came anxiety. Would this feeling last? 

Dex was legitimately more tired than he has been in a long time, but the moment his head hit the pillow he felt his anxiety spike, swimming around his chest. Beside him Nursey was quiet, settling in with his book. The lamp on his bedside table was dim enough that Dex knew it wasn’t that which was keeping him awake. 

“Derek,” Dex murmured. 

“Mmm?”

“Sorry.” 

Nursey reached out with one hand and rested it gently on Dex’s back. “For?” 

Dex was glad he was facing the other side of the room. He didn’t want Nursey to see the way he was squeezing his eyes shut, didn’t want him to see the confliction on his face. 

It’s just—Dex knew he wasn’t good at this. Nursey wanted a whole weekend trip for just the two of them and Dex wanted to sleep? He wasn’t romantic, he didn’t know how to be. Half of him just wanted to be an asshole because that’s what he thought flirting was supposed to be like but he knew that was wrong. 

They were together now and Dex wanted to make more of an effort. He could be a good partner—a thoughtful one. 

Instead of explaining, Dex asked, “You could read to me?” 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he answered softly. “I… like your voice.” Nursey’s hand stilled on his back and Dex used the moment turn, rolling so he was facing Nursey instead of away. The smile on Nursey’s face was enough to stifle any lingering anxiety that had bubbled up. “Shut up.”

“You like my voice?”

Dex reached out to poke Nursey’s leg. “Don’t,” he muttered. 

Still, Nursey hummed, pleased. “Okay. Yeah, I can read to you.”

Dex looked toward the book but couldn’t see the title. “What’s this one?” Nursey tipped the cover to show him _Song of Achilles_. He opened his mouth to start reading when Dex blurted, “No pressure, either. Like if you get tired, or I’m still awake—”

“Chill, Dex.” Dex sighed, but Nursey reached out and messed with his hair a little bit. Then he read. The words felt like poetry, and Dex fell asleep wondering if it was actually due to the content, or just because it was Nursey speaking. 

* * *

Dex woke with morning wood and Nursey totally and completely wrapped around him. Nursey’s face was buried into Dex’s neck and his breath was hot against Dex’s skin and Dex closed his eyes again, content to fall back asleep for a little bit. He shifted, dragging his hand up Nursey’s back just because he liked the feel of it, which startled him awake.

“Ufhh,” Nursey let out a soft noise, sleepy and cute, and it did nothing to alleviate Dex’s hard-on. “Will,” he rasped. 

“Derek,” Dex murmured back. 

Nursey nuzzled his face back down, the scratch of his scruff against Dex’s neck surprisingly lovely. He pressed a kiss to Dex’s jaw and murmured something indecipherable before sighing, settling down again with his eyes closed. 

“You should go back to sleep,” Dex told him, still slowly dragging his hand up and down the length of Nursey’s spine. He must’ve overheated at some point in the night and stripped his shirt off—a typical Derek Nurse night routine. “Didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Mmmm.” He pressed more sleepy kisses to Dex’s throat. “Deadass never wanna leave this bed,” he murmured. Dex’s eyes fell shut again and his smile grew, no small voice in the back of his head telling him he wasn’t allowed to have this. “How’d you sleep?”

Dex exhaled softly, letting himself be languid with the morning light. He wanted to chirp Nursey about hogging the blankets or make some sort of joke about it being harder to breathe with him sleeping on Dex’s chest, but in the end he answered, “So fucking good.” The mattress here was better than the one he had at home and the pipes didn’t kick on in the middle of the night like in the Haus and no one came down super early to start their laundry because they weren’t even home and _Derek was here_ , wrapped around him in bed. “Should we get breakfast?”

“We should _definitely_ get breakfast,” Nursey answered, sounding more awake. He mouthed his way across Dex’s collarbone and shifted, his knee nudging Dex’s boner, before he pulled back with wide eyes. “You’re hard,” he said.

Dex rolled his eyes but smiled. It wasn't the first time they’d woken up like this together and Dex was pretty sure it wouldn’t be the last. “Don’t flatter yourself.”

“Bro,” Nursey leaned in to kiss him on the lips, grinning. “My ego’s outta control.” He shifted again, actually climbing off of Dex but reaching down so he could still touch him. His hand carefully pressed against Dex’s boxers, questioning. “Is it okay if I—”

“Yes, yeah,” Dex interrupted him. “Literally please.” 

“ _Ooh_ , don’t flatter yourself _Derek_.”

“Stop it,” Dex laughed, shifting his hips up while Nursey’s grin widened. He leaned down and pressed a few featherlight kisses to Dex’s stomach before Nursey moved down, taking Dex’s boxers with him. 

Dex had always thought that Nursey had always been too good at this. “Stop it?” he echoed back, his breath hot against Dex’s cock, and it took all Dex had not to whine.

“You offered,” Dex exhaled. Nursey chuckled and then took Dex into his mouth like it was his favorite thing to do. He was some sort of natural prodigy in blowjobs and Dex was convinced half the reason he was so good at it was because he loved to give them. 

Dex dropped his head backwards into the pillows and clutched the sheets beneath him while Nursey sucked him off. 

By the end of it Dex had gone dizzy. “What do you want?” he babbled, reaching for Nursey desperately who’d crawled back up to him and was all smiles into Dex’s weak kisses. “I can blow you or—”

“No,” Nursey exhaled. “I’m close, I just need—” Dex reached for him while Nursey leaned down for another kiss, nodding. “Yeah,” he nearly collapsed on top of Dex when he wrapped his hand around Nursey’s shaft and tugged. “That’s it.” 

When Nursey came it was messy, all over Dex’s stomach, and Dex didn’t even care. Nursey moaned into his mouth before he finally fell, sinking into the open spot on the bed beside Dex with a deep sigh. 

For a moment they were just breathing. Dex honestly felt like he could maybe fall back asleep.

“So…” Nursey murmured after a little bit. “Breakfast?”

“So,” Dex exhaled it with a laugh. “Shower.”

“We’ll save water if we shower together,” Nursey said in a low voice. 

Dex laughed again as a rush of happiness overtook him and he pulled Nursey toward him, kissing him another time. “You’ve been playing the long game,” Dex exhaled as Nursey crawled over him. He propped himself up on his elbows, mostly flush against Dex’s body. “Trying to get me back in a shower with you.”

“Is it working?” Nursey teased. 

It definitely was. 

Dex drew Nursey in for another kiss and he melted into it, the two of them a mess of limbs as they made out without any rush to get out of bed. He wanted to stay here with Nursey forever, learning every muscle and curve of his body with no one to disrupt them and no plans to get in the way. Dex had never allowed himself something like this—a vacation, a man to love—it was easy to get addicted. 

“So this is why people go on trips,” Dex murmured beneath him. 

Nursey laughed wildly, drawing him in for another kiss, and another, again and again until they were lazily making out once more. 

The shower, when they eventually got there, of course, took longer than necessary. Dex went down on Nursey which turned into this whole thing with Nursey washing his hair and honestly the only reason they actually managed to get out before the water ran cold was because Dex’s alarm started going off in the adjoining room and Nursey hopped out to shut it off because it was _that_ annoying.

Dex climbed out a few minutes later after one last scrub down feeling more content than he’d even knew possible. He was ridiculously happy. It felt unreal that Dex could have something like this; he was half-convinced he’d wake up at any moment. 

When he found Nursey in their room, he stopped dead in his tracks. 

Nursey was wearing a fucking crop top.

“I hate you,” Dex said when he saw, and Nursey’s smile was immediate. “What are you wearing?” 

“What?” he asked innocently. “You don’t like it?” Nursey pouted and Dex rolled his eyes, ignoring the bait and heading for his bag instead. “I think I look good,” Nursey said as he admired himself in the nearby mirror. 

Dex refused to admit that Nursey looked good. It would just give him more reason to keep wearing it—which was ridiculous. 

It wasn’t until they were nearly out the door did Dex actually realize he was intending to leave the house like that. “Derek.” Nursey drew on his jean jacket, his innocent smile from earlier returning. “You can’t wear that out.”

“What are you gonna do, _Mom_? Send me to my room?” 

Dex scoffed. “It’s not crop top weather.”

“All weather is crop top weather if you try hard enough,” Nursey countered. “The sun is out. I have a jacket!” He started outside before Dex could even stop him. “Let’s go!”

There was a place within walking distance of where they were staying that was serving brunch and seeing as their morning had accidentally slipped into early afternoon, they were ready for some food. While Dex thoroughly enjoyed cooking, he also had to admit that he loved not having to cook. Seeing as they only had vague plans to hike after this, they took their time with their meal, savoring every bite. 

The hike was nice for the most part until they stopped for a water break and Dex found himself staring at Nursey’s exposed stomach, glistening with sweat.

“So you _do_ like the crop top,” Nursey noted. 

Dex didn’t respond as he stepped toward Nursey for another kiss. He liked the feeling of Nursey’s bare skin beneath his hands. He liked the easy access he had to touching him. He liked how warm Nursey was, all the time. 

“It’s fine,” Dex murmured. He kissed Nursey another time. “Let’s stay in again tonight?” 

“Nowhere else I’d wanna be,” Nursey murmured back. “God, you are so hot for me.”

Dex exhaled a laugh. “I fucking hate you.”

“Uh-huh,” Nursey grinned. 

“Who wears crop tops hiking?” Dex carried on, mostly grumbling but also struggling to fight his smile anymore. “You suck. Just the worst.”

Nursey pressed Dex back against the tree they’d stopped by on their trail for another kiss, smiling into it. 

Dex had never been big on PDA and that always made him so hesitant to be around Nursey in the Haus. He didn’t want the team chirping him about fines and so it always lingered in the back of his head. _Don’t touch Nursey. Don’t reach for Nursey. Don’t look at Nursey_. 

But being in this place with Nursey without anyone else made Dex feel greedy. There was no one to tell him to stop looking too lovesick or tease him for wanting Nursey close to him, so he didn’t care. The house was theirs for the weekend and Nursey was his. 

Not worrying about anyone around them, Dex found himself reaching for Nursey more. They held hands later in the day as they strolled through town, browsing shops. He slid his hand under Nursey’s jacket repeatedly just to feel the warm skin of his exposed back. If Nursey wandered too far from him because he got distracted by trinkets elsewhere, Dex could feel it, always, and drifted back in Nursey’s direction as soon as he could. 

They went for ice cream and strolled on the beach and bought a huge stack of postcards and Nursey teased Dex about sunscreen a dozen times and poked his freckles a dozen times more and it was _perfect_. 

That night they crowded together on the couch and made out recklessly, uncaring about volume or level of dishevelment or anything other than being closer to the other. Dex knew by the end of the weekend he’d have a multitude of hickeys that he’d have to try and hide from the team but he couldn’t bring himself to care—instead moaning every time Nursey found a new patch of skin where he wanted to leave a mark. They shed most of their clothes because they could and Dex let his hands wander and Nursey never stopped him, not even once. 

Their stomachs started grumbling at some point so they broke away long enough to order food, only to return to making out once the order was placed. It wasn’t until their meal actually arrived did they part from one another. 

After eating quickly they both settled in to do their own thing. Dex admitted that he wanted to get a little coding work done ( _it's not due soon_ , Dex told Nursey when he frowned, _so it's low pressure)_ and Nursey used that time to tidy up a little bit, but almost immediately it felt like the atmosphere between them had changed. 

Dex wanted to blame it on the sun setting, darkness could always make him retreat inside his head again, but he was certain he wasn't making it up. Even when they did work together in the Haus or the library it didn't feel tense like this. With such a good day behind them Dex couldn’t figure out why Nursey was being so quiet. He tried not to let it bother him, focusing on the coding work that he brought along, but this silence from Nursey carried weight and it was incredibly distracting. 

Still, it was the kind of silence that Dex didn’t want to poke with a stick. It made him afraid that something was wrong, and he was already so worried that he wasn't doing great at this. If Nursey wanted to say something, he should just say something. 

“Will?” Nursey finally interrupted, quiet, and Dex looked up to meet his gaze. He shut his laptop immediately. “Could we… talk about graduation?” he asked. “And what happens to this, then?” 

Dex’s heart immediately sank. They’d been having such a nice time—was Dex reading things wrong? This wasn’t a break-up trip, right? One last hurrah before the end of the year? He hadn’t considered that could be an option, but was it? 

Feeling paralyzed, it took more effort than Dex cared to admit to whisper, “Sure.” 

Nursey nodded slowly, like he was accepting Dex’s response and figuring out how to move forward into the actual conversation now. Just as easily as he nodded, Nursey started to shake his head. 

“These past couple of months have been so good,” Nursey told him quietly. “And today.” He reached out then, tangling their fingers together like it was the most natural thing in the world while his face remained riddled with concern. “I just want to know how you’re feeling.”

Dex tried his hardest not to look too confused. “I don’t know what you mean.” He thought Nursey was pretty clear on how he was feeling? “I thought today was great.”

“Yeah me too.” Nursey’s face grew a little more tense, his eyes focused on where their hands were laced instead of looking toward Dex. “I more mean we’ll both be in New York,” he offered slowly. “And with how this is going…” he trailed off, but Dex legitimately was not following.

“You… want to move in together?” he wondered. 

Nursey startled, pulling his hand back. “What?”

No, Dex was right the first time. Nursey wanted to end this now. Before they were both in New York, before they had to figure out how to navigate an actual relationship in the real world.

“You want to break up.” 

“Break—what?” Nursey scooted across the couch to him, eyes blown wide. “What are you—?” Nursey scanned Dex’s face with concern and confusion, shaking his head just a little again before leaning back just a touch and slowly clarifying, “I just want to define this.” 

Dex was starting to feel a little faint. “What do you mean?” 

“Like you and me, Will,” Nursey said. 

He shook his head. “Did we not talk about this?” Dex rasped, confused. He thought it’d been pretty obvious that they were together. “Like when I told you I’d never felt like this before was that not clear that—I mean Derek we’re on this fucking trip together I thought...”

Nursey’s eyes lit up and a smile found his face, wider than any he’d donned the whole day. “Oh. I mean—no, Will, that wasn’t clear.” Dex went to argue it but Nursey shook his head, still grinning. “You said you needed an adjustment period! How was I supposed to know that was code for _we’re actually dating now_.” 

Dex fumbled for words, eventually landing on, “I’m such an asshole.” 

Nursey laughed. “No!”

“I’d meant—with the physicality of it all, Derek, not the _you_.” 

“This is amazing,” Nursey carried on brightly. If it weren’t for Nursey’s overwhelmingly positive reaction, Dex was sure he would feel more stupid and more sad than he currently did. Instead he felt surprised, a little off-kilter but overall like he could laugh too. “I mean you are an asshole. But I’ve been 100% in with you for so long. Since even—before your five part plan to seduce me in Faber and—”

Dex really did laugh then. “That’s not what happened!” 

“It’s actually the best, Will,” he started rambling. “Because if I look back it’s like everything we’ve done since then was you being—my boyfriend.” He laughed a little, eyebrows high on his forehead to add, “This trip!” He drew Dex’s hands toward him and kissed his fingertips. “I should’ve realized. It’s always been about your actions.”

And Derek’s always been about words. Which meant Dex should’ve known that when they defined what this was, it needed an actual definition. 

“I’m sorry,” Dex said firmly, needing Nursey to know that he did still at least feel a little stupid. 

“Please don’t be,” Nursey responded. “Please. I am so fucking happy, Will.” Dex was pretty fucking happy, too. “My boyfriend,” Nursey practically sang. 

“Stop,” Dex groaned. 

Nursey peppered kisses all over his face, decidedly not stopping. He cradled Dex’s face between his hands and pulled back enough to look him in the eye before saying, “I literally planned this trip to ask you to be my boyfriend. I think I’m gonna say it a lot.”

“What?” Dex asked, but realized. “My boyfriend.”

“Mmm.” Nursey was already kissing him again, nodding into it. It was only a few kisses later did he pull back though, looking serious. “You’ve _gotta_ use your words more.” 

Dex nodded. “I know.” He gestured vaguely with his head to the space around them. “I’ve been trying.” Nursey’s eyes searched his like he was thinking about it, like he was recognizing all of the little changes Dex had made since that one talk in Nursey’s bed, nodding a little like he could see it. “You can always just… ask,” Dex offered. “If you need more from me.” 

Nursey’s nodding grew more firm. “Okay. So why’d you do it?” he rushed. Nursey elaborated to add, “Kiss me.” 

Dex’s eyes shot elsewhere, uncomfortable as he managed a laugh. “Because I…” he’d keep trying for Nursey, but he couldn’t change overnight. It was still hard for Dex to get it all out sometimes. “Because I wanted to,” Dex told him. “I’d been thinking about it for days. I thought maybe I could get you out of my system.” 

“Good fucking luck.”

Dex laughed again, this time for real. He looked back to Nursey who looked more fond than he’d seen in such a long time. “I’m glad it didn’t work.”

Nursey drew him forward again. “Me too.”

* * *

That night found them both awake in bed, Dex in no hurry to sleep with Nursey in his arms.

They’d both gotten off and were just curled around one another now, Nursey tracing patterns along Dex’s bare skin while Dex took the time to really look at Nursey up close. 

He had to admit that he felt much more grounded after their talk, too. While in his head it made sense that they were together, actually verbalizing it had such a larger impact than Dex had realized it would. Nursey’s smiles had shifted into something languid, his eyes bright and shining as they chatted about nothing and everything, simply enjoying being together. 

“Can we hold hands more?” Nursey wondered quietly after some time had passed. 

Dex nodded and asked, “What else?”

Nursey’s eyes widened a little, like he was surprised he was allowed more, but Dex wanted him to have everything he wanted. He couldn’t believe he’d spent all this time thinking that Nursey was content being Together with the level of affection that they shared—it only made sense that he’d want more. 

He looked down to where he was tracing circles on Dex’s chest. “I want you to meet my moms,” Nursey said softly. “Like, really meet them.”

Dex felt so light he couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped him. “Okay.” Nursey’s eyes returned to him, at first unsure, but he smiled back when he saw how happy Dex was. He knew now was the time to be honest. “I don’t know if I can do that with my parents yet. With you.” 

Nursey shook his head. “That’s okay.”

“Maybe my brother,” Dex told him. 

“No rush.” 

“I want to,” Dex insisted. He needed Nursey to know that he was serious. Thankfully Nursey drew his hands close, kissing Dex’s fingertips with a soft, understanding smile. “Had you been—worried?” he asked quietly. “I don’t know, I feel—”

“No, no,” Nursey insisted before Dex could even get his anxieties out. “I guess maybe nervous you didn’t want to define it, but I really like what we have, Will. Being with you is fun.” He shook his head a little, shrugging. “Even when I was nervous I wasn’t really. Chris was always supportive, so it felt more real, I think. That it’d last.” 

Dex nodded a little, reassured by Nursey’s words that it really was okay. 

“You wanna tell the rest of the team?” Dex asked quietly.

“Hall and Murray first,” Nursey answered without missing a beat. Dex snorted, and Nursey’s blossoming smile was well worth the teasing. “Only if you want, Dex,” he said after a moment. “I mean, yeah. There are some people who I want to know. But we don’t have to make an announcement or anything—I know you’re not… there yet.” 

“I’m not… _not_ there,” Dex managed. “I’m not gonna pull a Bitty and make out with you on live television but Derek, if there are people you want to tell, then just say so. Don’t worry about me. What do you want?” 

“WTF?” he asked.

“Ford probably already knows,” Dex admitted. She was the smartest of the three of them and Dex’s right hand woman when it came to the team. She’d probably pieced it together around the same time Chowder did—and Nursey’s stern talk about leaving them alone this weekend had probably only confirmed it. “But yeah, we can tell them.”

“The Waffles?” Nursey wondered.

“Yeah, sure.” 

Nursey smiled, nodding. “Okay. That’s all I need. Or well—obviously Shitty and the old team.”

“Obviously,” Dex agreed.

“And we’ll confirm it publicly when when The Swallow tweets photos of us holding hands,” Nursey teased. 

“You don’t think they’ll do that, do you?”

“Wouldn’t put it past them.” Before Dex could tell him that he didn’t even care, Nursey grew very serious all of a sudden. “Did you really want to look for a place together in the city?” he whispered. “Because we could. I mean—you don’t—I don’t need an answer now or anything but if you were serious just…” he trailed off, shrugging a little. “I’d be really into that.” 

No point in denying it. “Yeah,” Dex admitted slowly. 

Living together in the Haus had spoiled them—there was no way Dex could go from having Nursey in the same space as him every day to having to commute just to see one another. He knew there would be challenges, it’s not like he’d fled to the basement for lack of reason, but things were different now. He was more sure of himself; he was more sure of Nursey. 

“Yeah?” Nursey asked brightly, and Dex nodded. “Oh. God, okay.” His smile was back, full force. “I could stay with you more,” Nursey carried on quietly.

“You should,” Dex agreed. He already wished Nursey would stay with him more often at night. He loved sleeping beside him, waking up next to him in the morning. 

“If we’re gonna do this we should get used to sharing space like that again. Or well—like that.” Dex’s smile was hard to fight. “I can’t believe we’re gonna do this,” Nursey exhaled happily. 

Dex’s smile overwhelmed his face as he admitted, “Me neither.” Nursey reached up to cup his cheek and Dex leaned into it with a sigh. “Fuck, Nurse.” 

“You're like, an interior design wizard. And I love apartment hunting, this'll be so fun.”

“Secret talent, like trip planning?” Dex wondered.

“Damn, I told you I was good at planning trips,” Nursey responded with a smile. Dex bent in, quickly pressing his lips to Nursey’s. “Best weekend of my fucking life.”

Dex kissed him again, laughing. “You’re so dramatic and _so_ annoying.”

“And you hate me,” Nursey added, rolling his eyes but still grinning. “Yeah, I know the spiel.” 

Dex found himself gazing into Nursey’s eyes feeling lighter than he ever had. “Yeah,” he murmured. He didn’t hate Nursey at all. “Something like that.”

* * *

The weekend flew by. 

Monday morning they were both struggling to get out of bed knowing that evening they’d have to drive back to Samwell, so it was Dex who finally broke their blanket cocoon to start some coffee. He darted into the bathroom on the way back to splash some water on his face, noticing the crop top that Nursey had worn a few days ago in a pile of clothes on the floor. 

Fuck it.

Dex slipped the crop top on and appraised himself in the mirror for only a moment, knowing if he looked for too long he’d call the whole thing stupid and take it off. But he did have to admit it was a nice look—Dex worked hard in the gym and his hockey body was something that he was proud of. 

He’d only taken a few steps back into the bedroom when Nursey groaned.

“Fuck me,” he muttered. “Jesus, Dex.” Nursey sat up and crawled toward the end of the bed, beckoning Dex to come closer. “God you look so fucking good.” 

“ _Dramatic_ ,” Dex replied. 

Still, his entire face was burning. Nursey pushed himself up high enough to draw Dex’s hips forward, enough so that he could press his lips to the exposed stretch of his tummy. Dex sighed and lifted his hands to cradle Nursey’s head. It was ridiculous that Nursey could make him feel so sexy—it wasn’t the most familiar feeling by a long shot. 

“We could get matching ones,” Nursey murmured, still mouthing his way across Dex’s abs. 

Dex laughed. “No.” 

“Please. We’d look _so good_.”

“Okay fine.” 

Nursey drew back with a grin. “You’re so easy.” 

Dex shook his head, pushing Nursey backwards onto the bed before joining him. “No,” he said again. Nursey hummed appreciatively as Dex lowered himself on top of him, Nursey’s hands easily sliding along Dex’s warm sides. “I just like you,” Dex told him. 

“I don’t just anything you,” Nursey murmured. 

_Love_ , Dex thought blissfully. 

He could see it in Nursey’s eyes, could hear it on the tip of his tongue every time he got ready to make another declaration. Dex knew how he felt and could only dream that Nursey felt the same. All signs were pointing toward yes, anyway. 

He didn’t think he could say it yet, but soon. They had plenty of time to get there. 

**Author's Note:**

> find me on twitter/tumblr @jennybeantime! leave some love if you can, thanks for reading <3


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